Pregnancy: Weeks 4-10

**While we didn't tell people we were expecting until about 10 weeks I did journal our adventure up until that time**


November 7, 2009 (Week 4)
FINDING OUT

I woke up on Saturday morning and still had not started my period. I was going to try and wait until Monday to take a pregnancy test just to keep from getting my hopes up yet again. I was pretty sure I wasn't pregnant because I was traveling for work this month during what I thought was a critical time. Grace was spending the night at grandma's, Adam was hunting. I enjoyed a quiet morning to myself and decided to make a Starbucks run. The funniest thing happened at Starbucks. I pulled up to pay for my Pumpkin Spice Latte and the barista infromed me the car in front of me "had taken care of it". How cool is that? I took this as a sign and stopped at CVS for a pregnancy test on the way home.

I peed on my little stick and sure enough a 2nd faint pink line showed up. I was afraid to believe it. I was even more afraid to be excited. Miscarriage robs you of that excitement and replaces it with fear. You can no longer enjoy the moment and are just afraid. You assume when nothing goes wrong that nothing is going to go wrong. When something does go wrong, you are on constant alert. I waited until Adam came home and told him the news. He too accepted it with some trepidation. I called my mom and dad and told them. I felt funny telling people because I wasn't excited or joyful. Such a different experience that the 1st or 2nd time around. We decided we were going to try and wait to tell people this time around. I will feel so much better when I see that little heartbeat.

We had supper club on Sunday. The girls knew immediately when I refused any alcohol. So much for keeping it a secret, lol!! At 4 weeks the baby is the size of a poppy seed.

November 20, 2009 (Week 6)
FIRST ULTRASOUND

I asked LeeAnn a week or so ago if I could come in to see a heartbeat. I think I will feel so much better when I see that little blinking heart. I am so lucky to have a friend who is a ultrasound tech so I can put my mind at ease. You can usually see a heartbeat at 5 weeks, 5 days. I am 5 weeks, 6 days today. My parents came over to watch Grace so Adam could go with me. I am nervous and trying not to get my hopes up we will see anything since it is so early.

No luck with the ultrasound. I am measuring a little smaller (?) so we couldn't see a heartbeat yet. Kind of a letdown but I am trying to stay positive and hope we can see it soon. According to LeeAnn's measurments I am 5 weeks, 4 days. So close!!





November 22, 2009 (Week 6)
HOLY CRAP!

LeeAnn offered to come in special for me on a Sunday so we could try to get a peak at that heartbeat again. I went by myself not wanting to go through getting a sitter again and not even knowing if we would see anything. Little did I know I was in for the biggest surprise of my life.

LeeAnn put the gel and wand on my belly and I of course can see nothing on the screen. I look at LeeAnn and she is staring very intently at the screen. I see her whole face kind of change and she says, "Uh....sorry but somethings got my heart racing here". My own heart sank as I thought, "Crap, she doesn't see a heartbeat and she doesn't know how to tell me". After a few moments she said those four little words that turned my world upside down ......."I think its twins".

WHAT?!!! Are you kidding me?!?

She then points to the screen and sure enough even I can see TWO blinking heartbeats.

OH. MY. GOD.

I covered my face with my hands and the first thing I said was, "Where are we going to put them? Our house is already too small." LeeAnn was just like, "I know" :) She then told me to hold on a sec while she went to get another tech just to make sure. The other tech came in to take a look and said, "Yup, definitely twins! Congratulations." I think I managed a weak thank you.

The crazy part is even though I was shocked and stunned I immediately went to mom mode and fell in love with those two little blips on the screen. Even though I had no idea how I was going to handle two babies all that really mattered was if they were okay. They were mine now and all that I wanted was for them to be healthy.

LeeAnn and I continued to stare at the screen in amazement and she took some pictures for me to take home. She said it looked like they were identical since they were in the same gestational sac. As I got up to leave she said, "How are you going to tell Adam?". I had no idea. As I stumbled out into the hall LeeAnn was like, "Are you okay to drive?" I was so dazed I wasn't sure. I told her I felt like I was going to throw up and she said, "Me too". LOL!

When I got home Adam had started a fire and was upstairs giving G a bath. Little did he know I was about to rock his world. I just walked into the bathroom and said, "It's twins". He just kind of looked at me and said, "Your kidding......Shut up......your kidding." I started laughing and crying and showed him the pictures and said, "Do I look like I am joking?" All the color drained from his face and he bent over like he was going to pass out. I think he said something along the lines of "HOLY F%#@"

I called my parents and Adam called his. I told my mom and she ended up laughing and crying on the floor and my dad had to take over the phone for her. The weird thing is I has this feeling. I had a feeling it was twins on the Friday before my first ultrasound and the only person I had said anything to was my mom. I told her on the phone earlier in the day that I just had this weird feeling it was twins. Intuition is a crazy thing.

My brother said in China they put their babies in drawers so what did I need a bigger house for? Nicki just laughed hyterically. They both said if anyone could handle it it would be us. I called my other brother Mark in Kansas City. He laughed too....and I think said better you than me.

We just kept looking at eachother the whole night like a deer in a the headlights. We couldn't quite wrap our heads around it and the more we thought about it the more the reality of two babies, at the same time, sunk in. We didn't get a wink of sleep that night and it consumed our every waking thought.

Introducing the Dawson twins...

They (OMG they! they!!) are the size of a lentil, about a 1/4 inch long.

November 28, 2009 (Week 7)
START SPREADING THE NEWS

The big news is still sinking in. LeeAnn and I came up with a clever way to tell the rest of the girls I am having twins. They all came over for pizza on Wednesday. LeeAnn gave me a baby gift. I pulled out one pair of pajamas, then another identical pair of pajamas. Nicole screamed, "OMG YOUR HAVING TWINS!" Lots of screaming and hugging. We told Katie the same way that night and her response has to be one of my favorites, "OMG I feel so bad for you" hahaha. She then felt bad she said that and said she didn't mean it that way. I laughed becasue I knew exactly what she meant. It not going to be all unicorns and rainbows and thats okay :)

We told extended family on Thanksgiving and the day after. Thanksgiving Day we told the Dawson extended family. The day after Thanksgiving my mom and I went shopping with the Dawson girls and told them at lunch at Anna's. We made quite the scene when Beckie started screaming and about jumped over the table when I told her the news. Someone in the restaurant sent two little choclates over to the table as a congratulations.

In other news, the sickness is really starting to set in. I am throwing up a lot. Most of my Thankgiving dinner came back up. Not sure if I can ever look at Turkey the same way. I started to get sick with Grace around 7 weeks too. Seems like it started in a little faster and harder but there are 2 of them!

Here is their 7 week photo:

They are the size of blueberries, about a 1/2 inch in length.

December 5, 2009 (Week 8)
YUCKO

I am still struggling with the sickness. I just feel nauseous all the time. I called Dr. P's office for a Zophran script this week. Luckily they called it in for me. I have a hard time even keeping the pill down though. I told my coworkers this week, they were pretty surprised and feel bad that I am so sick. I am puking through our meetings at Panera.

We decided we are going to tell everyone in our Christmas card. LeeAnn personalized our 9 week ultrasound picture and we are sending it out with our Christmas cards to surprise everyone.


Here is what the beans look like this week....

They are the size of kidney beans, just over a 1/2 inch in length


Even though these little beans are only a 1/2 inch in length they are already making their presence known. I am already getting a baby bump! It's crazy. Here is a comparison of me at 18 weeks pregnant with Grace vs my belly right now at 8 weeks. They look the same!! Dear God I am in trouble!!

December 12, 2009 (Week 9)
LET THE WORRYING BEGIN

I had my first doctors appointment this week. We discussed how sick I have been and the nurse midwife gave me some tips. Unisom and B12 3 times a day. Sweettarts of all things. At this point I will try anything. I am keeping very little down. Saw Dr. P as I was checking out and told him it was twins. He really enjoyed teasing me about this since he has twin boys of his own. I mentioned that it appears that the babies are in the same sac and we don't see a membrane seperating them. This concerned him and he ordered an ultrasound for next week. If they are in fact in the same amniotic sac then they would be callled Monochorionic, Monoamniotic twins or "Mo-Mo twins". They share the same plancenta and amniotic sac which can be very dangerous and high risk. I would probably have to be refered to a specialist. The reason it is so scary is becasue they have nothing seperating them the umbilical cords can get tangled and cut off oxygen and nutrients to one or both of the babies. This is especially true as they get bigger. MoMo's are usually delivered early, as early as 28 weeks, becasue the risk of being in the womb is greater than being outside. It is VERY scary stuff and I can't help but worry and obsess. The more I read on the internet the more freaked out I become. It is going to be an eternity until that ultrasound and I am hoping and praying these little ones each reside in their own little amniotic sac.

On a happier note, here are the little blobs.

LeeAnn thought she saw a membrane between the two of them. This hope will help me get through until my ultrasound next Tuesday.

They babies are the size of grapes this week, almost an inch long





December 15, 2009 (Week 9)
GOOD NEWS

It was confirmed today that the twins each reside in their own little fluid filled home. After getting mixed messages from just about everyone I finally heard from Dr. P's office that they are in their own amniotic sacs but share a placenta (which is typical of identical twins). This is beyond wonderful news and such a sigh of relief.

After this little experience I have determined that nobody really knows what the hell they are doing with identical twins. They just don't see them very often. This resulted in me crying in the ultrasound room and a lot of stressing this week. BUT alls well that ends well.

Got great pictures of the babies, they are really starting to look like something. Truly amazing.

December 19, 2009 (Week 10)
UGH

I am still unbelievably sick. I can barely make it through the work day. I end up throwing up in a plastic bag in the car. I have to pull over sometimes. My manager decided to ride with me this week which sucked. As if I wasn't miserable enough. I ended up throwing up in front of him multiple times. Seriously dude? Can you give me a break? I feel like I am barely surviving and I am not sure how much longer I can do this.

The wee ones are the size of kumquats this week, a little ove an inch long.