I never thought I would see this day. Well, I had a feeling that these girls were not going to be scary early, but I wasn't so sure I was going to live to see 37 weeks. 37 LONG WEEKS. After all that worry and wonder and trying to keep these baby girls healthy and inside of me we made it. I will be induced tomorrow and we will finally get to meet these little miracles inside of me that have lived underneath my heart for nine months.
This week has been a roller coaster of emotion. I am elated to have made it this far but in a great deal of physical discomfort. While part of me is happy that these girls are probably big and healthy the other part just wants them OUT!! I am so excited to meet these little ones but mourning the fact that Grace will no longer be my only baby. I know every mommy goes through this but my biggest worry is for her. She is just the happiest, most blissful child and I don't want the change. She is the kind of kid that makes you want to do cartwheels and stand on your head and do anything for her because she just gives so much love in return. Adam and I just love being with her. I don't want that to change, I don't want her to change, but I know change is inevitable. She is going to be a wonderful big sister, and these twins are just going to multiply our love not take away from it, but it is still very emotional.
It is such a strange feeling being on the eve of a day that you know is going to completely change your life. So my prayer is for a safe and fast delivery. For two healthy babies, and for our family of three to welcome into its hearts two more members.
Thank you for all of your prayers and support over the last nine months. It has really meant a lot to me. I can't wait to introduce you to the two newest members of our family.
You made me cry..... we love you lots and cannot wait to meet the girls.... I know you know this... but Grace is going to be just fine... and so are all of you.... but it's still an emotional time. You have rocked this pregnancy girl.... you carried TWO BABIES (said like Luke and holding up two fingers) and done it with more GRACE (pardon the pun!) than anyone ever could. If it had been me... I would have been curled up in the fetal position every day, sucking my thumb and crying...... ;-)
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for the next step in your journey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bring on Monday.... bring on the BIRTHDAYS!
Hugs.....
Oh Jane! I can completely relate to how you're feeling (minus the extra baby). I remember blogging the night before I was induced with Hudson.... so sad to be adding another member to our family... so sad to shortchange Porter... so scared for the change. But SO excited to meet the little guy I knew would steal my heart the same way Porter did. Its so hard to imagine it happening but it does... your heart GROWS and there is more room to love. Its so scary to think of your oldest accepting all this and dealing with it. And is sad to know that it is inevitable... she will change and there will be a huge period of adjustment. You'll probably be ahead of the game than us with adding twins... at least you didn't move and displace her twice and then her closest grandmother die! LOL! Okay, that was SO not a laughing matter, but you know what I mean. Grace is an amazing little girl and I am positive she will welcome those little babes with open arms and be stepping in pace with her "new life" in no time.
ReplyDeleteYou're definitely allowed your pre-delivery freak out (I think it is 100 times worse the second kid(s)) but please rest assured it is completely normal. I think every mom goes through it and has those same emotions about what toll it is going to take on their one and only child at the time.
It will be okay. I promise. I LOVE YOU and am SO PROUD OF YOU!!! I agree with Nicki... you have been fricking amazing througout this pregnancy and already are a kick ass momma to 3! :) I can't wait to meet those little girls and document their entry into this world and into your family. I'm honored and thrilled.
LOVE YOU!
Jane, I will be thinking of you and your family tomorrow! If Grace is anything like Keelin...you will be so amazed by the love she can share. Keelin fell in love with Emmy right away! and that has not changed in the last 9 months...it has actually made Keelin a better daughter just watching her interact with her sister and the way she cares for her! I remember being so nervous too! It will all work out fine!
ReplyDeleteI can't wait to see the pics and be "introduced," either! I am SOOO excited for you, Jane! I will definitely be praying for you and those girls tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteJane,
ReplyDeleteWhat a road you've traveled to get to this day. I can't even believe that it's finally here. Crazy!
Remember to embrace the moments and the emotions, because as a Mommy of 3 beautiful girls...you can, damnit! Don't doubt yourself and trust your instincts. If anyone asks if there's anything they can do for you, LET THEM! Even if it's dinner or doing the dishes.
As you know, your life will be on a constant schedule, make sure to schedule special days for Grace, away from home. I've unfortunately learned the hard way that if it's not scheduled, it probably won't happen, because it's just easier to stay at home with 3 kids. Which reminds me, get all the take out menus you can...it's cheaper and easier than going out. ;)
Grace is going to be the BEST big sister because she has the most loving parents.
Best wishes tomorrow...I'll be thinking of you often!
First off, way to go on making it to the amazing 37 week mark! That is a feat in and of itself & you should be so proud of yourself!
ReplyDeleteSecond off, I whole heartedly know how you feel about Grace and how life will change with the twins coming. Gavin sounds a lot like her & while change is hard it is so good at the same time! Just wait & see...your heart will grow bigger than you ever thought possible & so will Grace's. She will do great!
Best of luck to you tomorrow! You'll be in my thoughts that you have a quick & easy delivery. I can't wait to see those little sweeties!
:)
i think it is totally awesome you are at 37 weeks girl! way to keep those little babes growing so they are good and strong when they arrive. and might i add, you still look fantastic!
ReplyDeletei had the exact same thoughts and feelings before levi arrived. i was so scared about how life was going to change and how tucker would adapt. you know what? things are good. and my heart has only grown bigger. and it's awesome. some days it is a challenge and we all have those days ... but it all comes together. you're going to have a sweet little trio of ladies to give all our love to. good luck! i'm thinking of you!
Jane I am so proud of you and your accomplishment of being the most awesome-ist mommy to carry twins! You will soon have THREE beautiful girls and life will just fit into place. Not saying it's going to easy, and that's why you have us! You let us know when you need the dishes done, when you need to catch up on laundry, when it's 4:30 and you haven't even considered the word "dinner" in your vocabulary that day. We are here for you through it all. Just think of us as your crutches until you heal into your new life. :) And if it takes 18 years, so be it! I'm very honored to be the "first" one to see those babies, even if it was when they just two fetal poles flickering their little hearts away. Thanks for taking me on your journey with you Jane! Those girls took my breath away and made my heart do jumping jacks the "first" time I saw them, and I can't wait to meet them in person and experience it all over again! Love you!!!
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